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We argued over the situation many, many times, but could not come to anagreement of being exclusive with each other. Margo made it very clear to methat she was beginning to like having other outlets and she would continueto do as she pleased. But I was not to venture out and do the same or Iwould lose her. That sounds strange, but I had to resign myself to beingsecond class. I am sure you are familiar with the type of feelings you havewhen your wife goes out with another man. It starts with a jealousqueasiness and permeates your whole body. Eventually you begin to think ofthe sexual aspects of what might be going on. I think I live out part of mysexual fantasies by imagining Margo flirting, kissing and being fucked bysome other man. The combination of jealously, humiliation and sexualexcitement is very satisfying!Over the past couple of years there have been other episodes of her beingadventurous and letting me know about it in many different ways. It stillcontinues to this day. She is totally in love with me and devoted to me and will do absolutely anything for me. Maybe that's the problem. After a few weeks I began to feel she was clinging. She had shrunk her entire world to me. Seeing me, touching me, feeling me, being with me, making love to me -- I was being smothered. Maybe at that point I began to realize what those boyfriends of hers had gone through. As lovely as she was, I needed time for myself and as time went on instead of easing up a bit, her attention became stronger than ever.I tried talking with her but her desperation was so great she just couldn't fathom a moment without me. Now again, the sex was great and Mom can be interesting to talk with, but too much of anything is just too much.I wasn't sure what to do about it until once again the solution to the problem just fell into place. Mom was still working for that engineering company. A new guy had been brought in to run the department where she worked. He was married but made it plain.
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